Blogging the airwaves

prawncock.jpg
Food disasters. Now there’s a subject I’ve goy a few opinions about! At least that’s what the producers at BBC Wales thought when they got me in yesterday.
I was a bit worried that Sunday’s blog might have offended so many Welsh people that they wanted to take me to task on air but thankfully they just wanted to talk about the biggest calamities in food history.
According to Waitrose Illustrated, the top ten food disasters includes the deep-fried Mars bar, anything from KFC, Pot Noodle and is topped by the invention (by the French in 1869) of margarine.
But there’s also a couple of questionable cheesy entries – quiche and the Ploughman’s Lunch.
What’s wrong with quiche? Properly cooked that bubbling mixture encased in a (very) short pastry can be delicious.

I can probably go along with criticism of the name ‘Ploughman’s’ being a horribly overused term, but I fail to see how wholesome hunks of fresh bread served with a selection of fantastic regional cheese could be offensive to anyone – whatever you want to call it.
When all you get is a piece of sweaty Cheddar and some Branston pickle with a stale roll, on the other hand…………………..

Anyway the top five (listed here) seems to be missing a few items so I thought I’d come up with own version.
My food hell
1. Fruit with meat.
I know, I know there’s classic dishes such as duck a l’orange but in general it’s wrong. The sweetness (and often the acidity) of fruit is not a good partner to any meat and simply throwing the content of your fruit bowl into a stew won’t make it more edible. Gammon with pineapple? Why? What’s wrong with an egg?
2. Wensleydale cheese that’s been messed with.
Leave this fantastic cheese alone, nothing can enhance it and certainly not berries or curry flavour. It is plainly, fantastically beyond improvement.
3. Prawn cocktail
Slathering tiny tasteless shrimp with that tastleess, gluppy, brightly coloured sauce is a sin to seafood.
4. Pop Tarts
Cardboard with molten jam. Point?
5. Pointless garnish.
Any regular readers of this blog know why.
Let me know your personal food hell below and if you want to hear the radio broadcast from yesterday, it was shortly before 5pm and you can “listen again” to Good Evening Wales.
As you’ll hear, there was a promise of an address where I could sample some well-cooked Welsh lamb. Nothing has arrived as yet though. Tricky to find was it?
Thanks to yes_Kristoli for the vile prawn cocktail picture!

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2 thoughts on “Blogging the airwaves

  1. 1. Pork with apple sauce? Lamb with redcurrants? Sultanas in a curry? These are not wrong things.
    2. Wensleydale is a fine cheese and it does work well with cranberries. So there.
    3. What you’ve pictured is an abomination of prawn cocktails. It’s akin to your description of a poor Ploughman’s lunch. It’s possible to prepare prawns well so that what results is not gunk.
    4. Agreed.
    5. I’d rather they made a proper salad. 🙂

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  2. Sultanas with curry? Haven’t seen that for years. Have you been enjoying the Vesta variety my friend 🙂
    Pork and apple sauce is OK because its a sauce rather than a mixed up ingredient so I’ll go with you on that.
    I have thought of one bona fide exception to the rule – apricots in tangine! Then all rules need exceptions don’t they?

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