Cooking the new rock ‘n’roll? It’s a soap!

I’ve recently taken to having the television on while I’m cooking. And increasingly its becoming a somewhat merged activity. Take last night as an example.
While busy sautéing some onions, mushrooms and peppers ready for a vegetarian lasagne, I chanced across Jamie at Home (Channel 4 8pm).
While being completely envious of his produce-stuffed garden and amazing outdoor kitchen, I watched as Jamie busily rolled multi-coloured carrots and beets in olive oil, vinegar and herbs before producing the most amazing looking roast veg.
But this programme had problems. 1. What’s with the shorts Jamie? Seeing those pasty little legs poking out of those baggy pants was reminiscent of a Tory leadership candidate on his hols. And 2. Try to remember that you’re not cooking with the children all the time. While appearing relaxed in front of the camera is one thing, seasoning a steak while enthusing “Mr Pepper likes to visit steak” is almost as cringeworthy as those shapeless pantaloons.
Onto Cook Yourself Slim (Channel 4 as well) which promised much – being able to eat fish and chips without guilt or weight gain. That’s just what I need ( lack of weight gain that is – there’s never any guilt with me when it comes to fish and chips!). But alas this show was cruelly mis-sold. A large lady whose entire life appeared to be spent eating cakes and takeaways was then shown how to eat more healthily and surprise, banana surprise she lost some flab. Well considering what she started with that was never going to be much of challenge was it? Just stop gorging cakes woman!
Finally back to Hell’s Kitchen (ITV1 9pm). With most of the action now going on in the house all the celebrities share, this is fast becoming more of an adult Big Brother than it is a show about food.
Jim Davidson has now (thankfully) left the show after disgracing himself with various unpleasantness he tried to pass off as being age-related and WAG Abigail looks set to win the show with her mix of cooking skills, pleasant demeanour and a hard-grafting nature.
So what’s the result of this exotic blend of culinary progamming? Will the world be a place where food is given more importance? Will the obesity crisis be averted by health conscious gourmets?
Unlikely. Maybe there will be better mashed potato thanks to the lovely Barry McGuigan’s whisking demonstrations in the Marco Pierre White kitchen or maybe armies of gardeners will be inspired to sow more adventurous veg thanks to Jamie.
All I know is that I really do need to get out more.

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